Trying to Stay Positive

This post is part of the “emotional ups and downs” I told you here I would write about.


Part One:  Things aren’t going so well with grandma’s health or her finances.   Which means things aren’t going well for my daughters father… emotionally and financially.  Which means my daughter is emotionally hurting seeing her father and grandmother hurting.

It’s so sad.  You see, his mom has lived with him and I assume helped him out a little financially since I have known him.  Well, of course, with things the way they are, grandma is not in the position to help, nor should she.

Here’s the issue:  I thought that the skilled nursing facility she is in now is the one she would remain in.  As it turns out, next Thursday, she is getting the boot!


They said Medicaid or Medical, one of those will no longer pay!

I got online and found where he (Dad) can actually find all the surrounding homes that offer the skilled nursing as well as what insurance they take.  We need to find her a permanent solution.  More on that later.

Part two:  No matter what, Dad cannot afford to live where he has lived for the last 5 years without her.  He will either have to get a roommate or move.    And we all know that moving is costly.


That fact is killing my daughter!

Bare in mind that this is all happening during her 14th birthday, her 8th grade graduation and as she is transitioning into a volunteer summer camp as well as having high school looming!

I don’t think she is concerned with all that I have mentioned, she is mostly concerned about her daddy.  He has not been the same since grandma took a turn.  When he left last night after their visit, she started crying.

He doesn’t deserve all this mom!”  OMG, my heart!


It is so hard to watch my daughter witness this brutal fact of life.   She is so concerned that he has to move and she thinks no place else will be as good for him.  She thinks after grandma is gone, daddy will be sad and all alone.

I feel sad that her dad and grandmother are going thru this, I feel horrible that my daughter is watching her family suffer and that she feels scared and sorry for her father.  I feel scared and sorry for them too.  I hate that we are a poor family and none of us have security or breathing room!

I tell myself, I need to remain positive.  I keep telling her that things will work out.

All this makes me think of my future as well. What’s it gonna be like, I don’t want to burden my kid!  I have health issues that might cause me to have some major hospitalization, we just don’t know, but I’m doing all I can to remain as healthy as I can for as long as I can.

Life comes at you fast.  I told my daughter that.  We need to do the best we can.  I don’t want it to always be such a drag.  I need us to be able to enjoy life too.  I’m almost in tears as I write this because life does come at you fast, and its not fair.   It’s not fair that some kids live in such splendor and other kids, like mine (and yours)  have to make do.


We look around and everyone seems to have so much more security then we do!  I know that I have been stressed because of my own financial situation.  I know she sees that as well.  It can’t be good for her!

Heavy sigh!  What to do, what to do…

Tomorrow is her middle school graduation.


My cousin is picking up a couple of bouquets in the morning for her and meeting me at her school with them. Her dad will come too and then we will have a nice lunch afterward. After lunch, she wants to go visit grandma!

We have got to give this kid some fun and downtime.    I know that its crazy to run off to Ojai now, but I think its crazy not to.  We need to get away and she needs some reward.  Life has to have balance!

What is the point if you can’t enjoy life?  What is the point??


5 thoughts on “Trying to Stay Positive

  1. Ugh, such rough times for your family, and especially your daughter. She may not be thinking about all the stuff you mentioned, but they will burden her a bit. As you said, all you can do is stay positive. A house is just a building. A home is where the heart is, and the heart is where family is (or something!). So if she focuses on the positive, though the move may be expensive, it does not have to be “not good enough”. It can even be better to get into a new environment. Definitely have tons and tons of fun at Ojai. You both need it!

    • Thank you. You just recently moved as well. I hope it is going well for you! It will work out I think for everyone. The main thing is to find a stable, safe place for grandma. I think that will eliminate the stress we are all feeling! Xxx

  2. Whew, your daughter is worried about a lot of difficult issues for someone her age. She sounds like a wonderful caring, sensitive person.

    On an upbeat note–I loved the fun graphics that you used to illustrate this rather serious post. The illustrations kept reminding me that there’s light at the end of the tunnel, and that you need to smile a little even during difficult times.

  3. Hugs to you and your daughter. It’s hard to see your kid suffer.

    Whenever I get really, really stressed about my life, I remind myself that I am very, very fortunate: I live in America. Half of the world’s population lives on only a few dollars a day. Most don’t have running water, shelter, or healthy, safe food. Many women are sold into marriage, sex slavery, or are mutilated by their families.

    Finally, you should have my email (it pops up in the comments field); feel free to drop me a line about your daughter’s grandmother. I know quite a bit about health care law, Medicare, Medicaid, and applying for state aid. Although I’m not licensed to practise law in California, a lot of it ends up being the same: Medicaid and many transitional aid programmes are federal programmes, operating under federal law, that are administered by the states.

    • Thank you so much! Her dad found a nice house, where nurses take care care. They called in Hospice, but I think grandma is tougher than they think.
      It is completely covered!!! Yay

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