Omg I feel So Sick

Today I talked to admissions at one of the colleges and we went over the money.

They are offering her a lot of awards but there are still loans that need to be taken out.

I said I dont want them in my name and as you guys know, I cant co-sign, for obvious reasons.

But how is she supposed to take them out with no credit history?

I think we just hit a major crisis that I did not see, because I am a complete idiot!

Omg!  I got her hopes up only not to be able to help her!  Seriously!  I am so upset I could throw up.

Her dad does not care, I have no idea how to help her!

She is devastated!  If I could sell this place now I could help her.  Maybe she can wait a year?  

I cant be the only loser parent out there!  What do people do?

I am just sick!  I wish I never mentioned college to her, I wish I kept her sights low, like poor people should.


So incredible sad.



28 thoughts on “Omg I feel So Sick

  1. I think you can have her become an emancipated minor. However, she will have to prove that she is paying her own bills and receiving no financial support from you. She can no longer be your dependent for taxes either. The college financial aid office should be able to give you more complete information than the admission office. I am SURE you are not the first parent in this situation. Best of luck!

  2. Debtgirl try not to worry too much…like the above I agree the Financial Services office have probably seen this before and have some answers. My kids are on loans for university and although the debtload isn’t as much as in the USA it is still big and makes me nauseous because we didn’t save enough when they were little our goal is to help them one day in the future when we do have a bit more money. It’s a long term thing.

    • Kiki that is what I hope to do is help her later, by leaving her property to sell and pay it off or by helping with payments.

      It should not be this hard!

      Thank you thank you!!!! Xoxo

  3. Are you sure she can’t take out loans by herself? With federal loans there is no credit check or cosigner, she can start there-

    She can also start to build her credit now. Have her get a credit card from a bank to use ONCE A MONTH ONLY and to make sure she pays it off on time.

    You both will figure it out! There are solutions!

    • Jax good idea! Will get her a gas card. I will check out that link in Friday!

      I am dedicating the day to this whole drama!

      Thank you for your help and suggestions!!!!! Xoxo

  4. Deep Breath! After all you have gone through . . . do you really wish you could take more debt on yourself? Do you want your daughter to start out her adult life that way? Look for a college that will give her a full athletic SCHOLARSHIP that she doesn’t have to pay back. Look at community colleges in California to get low cost education for her first two years, then transfer to an in state public school with the lowest tuition and fees cost. Look at this as a learning experience and an opportunity to teach her to avoid debt. Make the financial part a priority. You have learned a lot in the past few years – pass the wisdom on to her – let her know how debt has hurt you and help her avoid it. You got this!

    • Thank you Sandra! This does look like it may be the perfect time to share my situation with her!

      Everything you mentioned, including JC is on the table now!

      Thank you!!!!! Xoxo

    • Thats about what she will have. Its totally insane! I am old and still paying my own college debt!


      Something has to be done. Thank you for your support, I really appreciate it!!! Xoxo

  5. She should be able to get the student loans (through the federal programs) in her name with no problem. My son’s ex girlfriend got her student loans and her parents had bad credit and couldn’t co-sign.

    • Hi One!

      Friday I am going to scour the internet for federal loans.

      I borrowed a laptop from work, so we have two laptops, both of us need to do this!

      Thanks for the suggestions, it means a lot to me and I really appreciate all of them!

  6. Debtgirl – BREATH. Don’t panic yet. Both my sons have their school loans in their own name – no credit history – nothing. Loans through the federal programs that are out there. Have you spoken to the financial aid office? Did she have her Fafsa sent to this school? Is there a local in state school which will have much lower tuition than one in a state where she isn’t a resident? With both my sons we never had to do anything but fill out the fafsa, have it sent it to the school of their choice (there is a place to do that when you fill out the fafsa) and wait for financial aid to offer them an aid package.

    My youngest went to the local community college for almost 3 years (long story – (he should have been able to transfer in 2 years but they changed some things in the transfer program half way through and it took longer to finish). During that 3 years he NEVER had to take any loans out – we filled out his fafsa every year, chose the college he was going to, and then financial aid sent us a notice of the aid package they had to offer him. He got school scholarships, state scholarships and Pell grants (that you don’t pay back). There was always enough money for tuition and supplies. He got in 3 years of community college and never paid a dime. And we never had to paid a dime. Then he transferred to a state run college only about 45 minutes from home and he is on track to graduate in 2 1/2 semesters. At this school he has had to take out some loans but they are no where near the amount they would have been if he had went there the whole time.

    Don’t count out school for her just yet. There are a lot of options out there is she doesn’t want to have any debt. Talk to financial aid and see what they say. It is possible to go to school and not have a hugh amount of debt when you get finished. SO, take a deep breath, talk to financial aid, and see what her options are.

    • Thank you! Yes we filled out Fasfa but they didnt come down to our efc! Off by 5000!

      I did call the finacial office today and got some ideas, i think they will help more! I have some work to do and send back to them.

      Yes I need to breath! Last night was horrible!

      Thank you for giving me ideas and supporting me! I cant yell you what it means!


  7. Hi,
    She can get student loans. Have you filled out the fafsa for her yet? It will tell you what she can get in student loans when you do it. Also the college she picked should be able to help her. And my daughter had no credit, yet got the student loans asap. Also sometimes colleges give scholarships, there will be aid of some kind.
    Also you could put up your place for sale now, chances are it would sell quick. People don’t realize that houses sell well in winter because there are less houses up for sale, so less competition..

    Last resort, an instate college, or community college then state college.

    It will be OK.

    • Hi there! I wish so much that I can sell! I would SO FAST!!!! But I cannot sell in this BK situation because there is a lien strip! πŸ˜”πŸ˜”πŸ˜”πŸ˜©πŸ˜©πŸ‘ŽπŸ‘Ž

      I have to wait until discharge.

      It sounds like lots of kids get loans! We have to find something!!!!

      Thank you so much for taking the time to help me! I so appreciate it!!

  8. She will only be able to take out I think a max of $5000 in student loans her first year. There is a program called Parent Plus loans. You would apply and if denied then they allow the student to take out an additional loan. I am not sure of all the specifics because we have never used the program.
    My fifth child starts college in the Fall and the sixth starts the following year. We are not broke but we are surely not wealthy and were unable to save anything for college. College can be done with smart choices. Our fourth child currently commutes an hour each way to a state university, lives at home, works two part time jobs. She has finished three years paying cash for tuition after a small scholarship. She would have loved to have gone to a private school but knows when she graduates the sacrifices she made will put her in a great place to begin her career debt free.
    Take a breath and refocus. I say the hardest conversations we have had with our children are the college reality ones. She will appreciate your honesty and together you two will figure out a path for her.

    • OmGosh Jennifer!!! How did you guys do it!?! Your daughter is s great mature person and you should be so proud.

      We didnt pic the private school because we wanted it, we picked it because it made it way more easy to get into! I will explain in a post soon.

      We have so much to talk about and you really nailed it about the reality if college and debt. I kind of see just hiw imature financialy my kid really is. That kind of worries me, but we shall see!

      Thank you for taking the time to share with me and help me! It means so much!


  9. Another thing to think about-after her first year she can become an RA and that takes care of her room expenses. It’s work, no doubt about that, but will definitely help in the amount of loans she’d need to take out to live away from home.

    I’m a product of the CA community college and Cal State system, and I went on to get two Master’s degrees. There is no shame in going to a JC for the first two years to save money. Every one of my professors knew my name at the JC because the classes weren’t full of 200 students, and weren’t taught by TAs. You and Kid have to do whats best for her, but I just wanted to voice a very favorable opinion about junior colleges.

    • Thats such a great post! Is RA the person that lives in amd monitors the dorm? She could do that! I had no idea they get something for it!

      2 master degrees!?! Thats so awesome! Congrats.

      Xoxo thank you xoxo

  10. Hi, DebtGirl!

    Deep breath. Kids get loans without income or credit history; they are just limited. (In a way, the limit is a good thing; going over it might be too much to pay back.)

    It’s only February. Keep talking to schools; some will offer aid packages.

    Do not keep her sights low. She needs to be a lot more strategic about college than wealthier kids, but it isn’t a bar to attendance. I went to (private) university with kids who literally grew up in the projects. The school offered fantastic aid because their parents earned so little.

    • Here’s some information:

      If you had buckets of money, this would all be easier. But one of the biggest hurdles to getting kids from poorer families to and through college is that it seems like a middle-class (or wealthier) thing, so it seems to make sense to give up when you don’t understand how things work. It can seem like things aren’t supposed to work. There are huge information gaps – it isn’t a barrier, but it is a hurdle.

      The other problem is that high schools are just terrible at disseminating income-appropriate information. You and your daughter will hear the exact same things that families who can pay for the whole thing will hear, and it just is not helpful.

      • Hi there stranger!!! Missed ya! You are so right. It seems like the highschools can care less! I dislike her teachers and councilor immensely!!!

        We are still not giving up! She wont let me! πŸ™‚


  11. Man, I got behind with the college situation. So sorry it feels overwhelming. It seems like lots of kids navigate the college finances without parents co-signing. I’m reading lots of great advice in these comments. Hopefully looking at this a few days later you are feeling better. I know the pieces will fall into place. Keep the faith.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s